So I’m STILL not married…
Can someone tell me is it really THAT bad that I’m 25 years old and still not married? Is it really THE next step after graduating and working? Is there still that ‘subconscious’ age limit in everyone’s heads that makes them ponder about the reasons why I still haven’t ‘settled down’?
This is the influence of the past still asserting itself onto the minds of the not so much older generation in arab countries. If there was a wedding or any public function where I’d bump into any of my mother’s friends or the mothers of my married friends, I’d get the not so subtle question of “Darling, you’re so beautiful…hasn’t Mr. Lucky come along yet?” or even the even more so subtle prayer “May Allah send you a husband that will treat you well…SOON” or how about this pity wish “If only I had another son! I would have married him to you!”
What on earth am I supposed to say back to that?!
- “uhm, Mr. Lucky? Well I’m still waiting” - WAITING????? AM I??!
- “Yes I hope Allah sends me a husband who treats me well too…” – lol I’m gonna be a cold sarcastic pessimist here and say: Yeah…where am I supposed to find one of those?!
- if only you had another son? Wow I must be extremely a sad pitiful case for her to go THAT far…
Previously, women in the arab world wouldn’t even finish school before getting married, then it was university…now I feel its at a stage where its between the ages of 18 and may reach up to 29…anything in the 30s means you’re in the danger zone and on the verge of spinsterhood.
I think its in every woman’s instinct to want to feel secure. Some women translate marriage as a means of security. Some a successful career, some a big closet of shoes and others reach a level of self love that is enough to satisfy her inner needs of being loved by another.
I sit with my young unmarried friends and sometimes I do travel into a trance, thinking about “him”. How tall is he gonna be? How handsome? How sweet? How religious? How easy going? How patient? How loving and compassionate? How supportive? Would he put the effort into the marriage? Would he satisfy me in every way?
My questions are all about him…how will he be with me…You might think “what a selfish woman! What about the poor soul?! Well…I just want to say, if I do marry a guy who answers those questions in the way I’d love them to be answered I would be a happy woman…I would put 100% into making him feel as happy with me as he makes me.
This is the influence of the past still asserting itself onto the minds of the not so much older generation in arab countries. If there was a wedding or any public function where I’d bump into any of my mother’s friends or the mothers of my married friends, I’d get the not so subtle question of “Darling, you’re so beautiful…hasn’t Mr. Lucky come along yet?” or even the even more so subtle prayer “May Allah send you a husband that will treat you well…SOON” or how about this pity wish “If only I had another son! I would have married him to you!”
What on earth am I supposed to say back to that?!
- “uhm, Mr. Lucky? Well I’m still waiting” - WAITING????? AM I??!
- “Yes I hope Allah sends me a husband who treats me well too…” – lol I’m gonna be a cold sarcastic pessimist here and say: Yeah…where am I supposed to find one of those?!
- if only you had another son? Wow I must be extremely a sad pitiful case for her to go THAT far…
Previously, women in the arab world wouldn’t even finish school before getting married, then it was university…now I feel its at a stage where its between the ages of 18 and may reach up to 29…anything in the 30s means you’re in the danger zone and on the verge of spinsterhood.
I think its in every woman’s instinct to want to feel secure. Some women translate marriage as a means of security. Some a successful career, some a big closet of shoes and others reach a level of self love that is enough to satisfy her inner needs of being loved by another.
I sit with my young unmarried friends and sometimes I do travel into a trance, thinking about “him”. How tall is he gonna be? How handsome? How sweet? How religious? How easy going? How patient? How loving and compassionate? How supportive? Would he put the effort into the marriage? Would he satisfy me in every way?
My questions are all about him…how will he be with me…You might think “what a selfish woman! What about the poor soul?! Well…I just want to say, if I do marry a guy who answers those questions in the way I’d love them to be answered I would be a happy woman…I would put 100% into making him feel as happy with me as he makes me.
(Always easy to say and hard to do…but I would try :) )
Labels: Me Yapping
posted by Dudi @ 10:30 AM
3 Comments:
Hmmm ....
I dont think that " getting married " thing is in our hands, but though i believe you're still young ... you never know what happens tomorrow ... so keep your chin up! ...
No worries big sista,,, Inshallah you are going to get married soon and you are going to find your self a fine man...
just wait a lil longer the time will come.
I'm 21. Never thought of marriage yet there's a profound thought in mind stating that am leaning towards the age of 26 to share my life with someone else. Who knows, maybe tomorrow is your happiest day ever. Your life is so bright; always look at the forefront of your door steps.
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