No One Better
You proved me wrong with your charm
Your delicate infatuation with the real me
Your determination to protect me from all harm
Your patient pain you never let me see
You made me realise I was foolish
To not believe the saying
That in the sea, are many fish
And all my fingers are not the same
Nights and nights, I awaken upset
For what my heart clings on and weeps
The days and love I wasted, I regret
But with you my heart serenely sleeps
If you were my first encounter
You would have set the bar too high
Forced the poor attempters to suffer
Struggling to reach it, try after try
Except in this unfair life, only now you came along
Too late to live the fair life we both would prefer
But you came in time and you’ve proven me wrong
To think that there would be no one better
Picture by teal_talia
Labels: Poetry: Love
posted by Dudi @ 12:56 PM
11 Comments:
there is always someone better out there :)
just you need to be patient and follow your mind not heart to find the right man :)
and we have to learn from our mistakes and others' mistakes; we shouldn't re-invent the wheel :P
still sencere poem :)
i like it :)
yours
SAudiGuy
I try to speak of what I feel
It can't get out in sun light
It only travels at night
When no one there
............
Speechless :)
Exactly my point in the poem...
there is always someone better... :)
Many girls think that they've met the most perfect someone and nobody can take his place but really...there is always, someone better :)
i really really really liked this one Dudz...
you truly have a gift... bravo
*clapping*
This is your best poem ever :) I liked your other poems, but this is the first one that realy stands out. Its got a strong meaning, its well balanced and it is simple and beautiful. The best poems in my opinion are always simple.
:) From your friend H
This comment has been removed by the author.
It’s wonderful yet very simple; you didn’t signify the main topic using any deeply profound metaphoric lines. Even though you wrote a sonnet which I think is a coincidence *Smiles* you didn’t follow a fixed length nor a meter.
Your second stanza is out of the category, foolish doesn’t rhythm with fish unless you consider the last three letters as a rhythm and not the whole word. Furthermore, saying has no meter whatsoever with same.
The rest of the flow goes on beautifully. Though, prefer in your last stanza doesn’t actually rhyme with better unless you’re reading it with an accent *Grins*
Added you to my bloggers’ list. Keep it flowing!
Oh yeah, thanks for adding me too *Winks*
Mysterious! thanks for that detailed (and positive?) comment on my poem! Its good to hear such advice from other poets
i must tell you that not all poetry has to ryhme to the dot or be on the exact letter by letter meter... ofcourse it should have some sort of smooth flow but its the meaning and how you bring it across that means more to me than "i'm a poet and i didn't know it" kind of rhyming.
prefer, better...i think in my normal accent ryhmes quite well...don't know about u hehe :P
as i said to u, i never studied poetry, rarely read poetry, i just write what i hope is accepted to be called poetry... :)
maybe i should study it more but in the meanwhile i think practise makes perfect ... with support from my fellow poets and friends ofcourse !
i must tell you that not all poetry has to rhyme to the dot or be on the exact letter by letter meter
Then write a free verse and save yourself the hassle. It's straightforward, trouble-free and it has neither a fixed meter nor a rhythm. I'm sure you'll find it quite amusing.
prefer, better...i think in my normal accent ryhmes quite well...don't know about u hehe :P
No, it doesn't. Read them again, each separately.
as i said to u, i never studied poetry, rarely read poetry, i just write what i hope is accepted to be called poetry... :)
Neither did I. I just thought of delivering a constructive criticism.
I just thought of delivering a constructive criticism.
as i said...
in the meanwhile i think practise makes perfect ... with support from my fellow poets and friends ofcourse !
ur delivering exactly what i need :)
thanku Mysty :)
Post a Comment
<< Home